Monday, April 21, 2008

Brentwoods Match

19th April 2008

Frogs v Old Brentwoods

A water logged SKRA pitch was the venue for the game against Old Brentwoods, and although the tourists were greeted by cold drizzly weather, they were on high spirits as they sported dyed hair, wore an array of ladies underwear and were clearly under the effects of recently consumed alcohol. The Frogs were also in fine form with almost 30 players turning up to play.

The game kicked off at 3pm and the Frogs wasted no time in establishing the lead when Fergal scored the first try with a darting run. As we found out by the end of the game Fergal, scored all our tries showing that he’s not only a manufacturer in the milling industry, but he’s also a manufacturer in the try scoring industry.

After more tries from both sides, Old Brentwoods were only a try down going into the closing minutes of the first half, were within a blade of grass width of the Frogs try line. They tried in vain to hammer against a stoic and resolute Frogs defence to even the score, but the half time whistle blew without success.

The second half started, and Kevin “Badknee” – our illustrious coach – began a phased substitution in order to bloody some new players in the club and get everyone some game time. The Frogs scored a couple more tries but Old Brentwoods began creeping back into the game. Whether it was the effects of the alcohol wearing off or that the Frogs had almost swapped out the entire starting line up is open to debate, but what was certain was the Old Brentwoods started playing with more conviction and success.

A good spirited game was only marred by one sending off. Christian, who refereed the second half, yellow carded Kiwi Mike (instead of himself this time), for descent and general Kiwiness.

So with a last minute surge from Old Brentwoods, the game finished with the Frogs losing by a last minute try.

At one point, an injury scare in the last ruck of the game saw Lance “The Maine Event” struggle off clutching his arm in pain. Rumour quickly spread that it was a suspected broken arm and Antoni, unhesitatingly sprung into first aid action by trying to push two broken branches onto Lances damaged arm. It turned out to be a false alarm, and although Antoni’s enthusiastic action were rejected by Lance (and laughed at by others), he’s been spurred on by the idea and now wants to create his own brand of natural first aid solutions. Apparently he’s already started researching the idea of using beach pebbles as anal suppositories and tree bark to treat third degree burns.

With both teams cleaned up, all descended on Bradleys later for tea and crumpets. The competitive spirit continued with drinking games against each other. Boat races as per usual, run the Gauntlet and the blow the playing card off the top of the bottle game.

Mr G found himself with 25 fingers to drink (that’s two and a half pints in real money) and did so heroically, although he was so full of beer by the last mouthfuls, it looked as if beer would start seeping out of his eyes. Sean, again, also was maxed out on his turn and took himself to the gents (that’s bathroom in US English) to offload his burden.

By the time the Frenchies played “run the gauntlet”, their penalty beers were not being as actively policed by the Brentwood boys and, they managed to get away with sipping their three-pint penalty so slowly that it was becoming clear that the beer would evaporate faster than their consumption rate. Boys it didn’t go unnoticed!

Great day had by all, especially Fergal, who was spotted wearing this outfit, and overheard telling a gullible American tourist that this is what people in Ireland wear.

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